by Amy Medling, founder of PCOS Diva
I believe healing and managing your PCOS starts with 3 words – “Begin – with – Yes” Let me explain. A few years ago I came across a small book filled with a simple but profound wisdom. This book was written by Paul Boynton and the title is Begin with Yes. I had the opportunity to spend the morning last week listening to Paul discuss his philosophy and book with a group of business women.
I want to share my thoughts on how his philosophy can help you manage your PCOS.
Begin with Yes
As Paul explains, “Yes” speaks to being open to possibilities. It really doesn’t matter how optimistic you are (which works for me because I tend to be a glass half empty sort of person) because you are still going to have days of overwhelm, depression, panic and anxiety. But the key is to Begin. Take action and begin with a small step even if you don’t feel like it. The power of Yes means to begin doing something.
Power of our Thoughts
Our thoughts create our reality. What we call reality is really our interpretation of what is going on . We can create a reality that moves us forward instead of keeping us stuck and looking back. Paul suggests that in actuality we are just making up stuff to create our reality – so if we are making it up, then we might as well make it better.
You can see the glass half-empty or you can see it half full. You can focus on what is going wrong with your life or you can focus on what is going right. But whatever you are going to focus on you are going to get more of it. Creation is an extension of thought. Thank lack and you get lack, think abundance and you get more.” ~ Marianne Williamson.
Begin with your thoughts. Begin with Yes does not ask us to be naive. No matter how positive you are there are difficult days, weeks and even years. Begin with Yes doesn’t ask you to pretend it is better. However, it doesn’t matter that you are scared or overwhelmed. What matters is that amid the crisis, you begin by asking yourself, NOW WHAT? When you are not feeling good, you can either sit in the dark or you can turn on the lights and move forward by asking yourself this simple question.
We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are. ~ Anais Nin
I’m sure there have been days of overwhelm, pain, confusion, despair in your PCOS journey. When I ask myself the question “Now what?” I know I have to begin by first loving and valuing myself enough to want to do what is best for my body. My Begin with yes has been a shift in my thought life. I have created my own reality. Through my thoughts and actions I have told myself that “I am healthier because of my PCOS.” That is really what it means to live life as a PCOS Diva. I can tell you today that I am healthier – mind, body and soul because of my PCOS. I am very protective and cautious with my thoughts. No more “woe is me” thinking for this Diva. Yet, I have to begin everyday with those yes thoughts. That is why I post positive daily quotes on my Facebook page. It is as much for me and my morning “Yes!”
So how do you move forward?
Paul explains that after you ask yourself the question, “Now what?” begin by thinking about a small doable step. By taking that small step you are no longer stuck. You can’t stay stuck and be moving at the same time. You begin to shift from the bigness of the problem to something that is practical and reasonable. The action is empowering. It allows you to feel more powerful and in charge of your life.
For me, the small choices I make everyday about what I put in my body allows me to move forward and feel empowered. I ask myself, “Is this a healing food or a harming food.” I create my healthy reality though my thoughts and small daily actions.
Moving beyond fear
Fear can often get in our way. I tell me clients to feel the fear and do it anyways. Fear is overrated. As Paul says, “Just close your eyes and take a small step anyways.” It may be scary to think about eating gluten or dairy free or to have to go to the gym and exercise or to look at where your life is unbalanced. But I want you to acknowledge the fear and still take a small step and do it anyways!
Don’t be afraid to fail
The big part of fear I believe is failure. The sooner we get used to failing the better. Paul so eloquently says, “You can’t get good at anything without being bad first”. Keep taking small steps and fake it until you make it. By living adventurous lives we will find ourselves in the unfamiliar. We have to be uncomfortable about not being good until we are.
I hear from a lot of women that they have never really cooked for themselves before, let alone preparing healthy whole foods from scratch. But I invite you to take a step. Perhaps it is just downloading my 6-week Seasonal Meal Plan and selecting one dinner menu to prepare. You’ll never Sizzle in the Kitchen without lighting the fire first!
I tell my clients to envision your Diva – that woman you know who is inside and is waiting to show her beautiful self to the world. Start acting as if you were living as that higher version of yourself today. Fake it until you make it. We have to take the stage before we are ready, in order to get ready. Each step counts. We have to be uncomfortable about not being good enough until we are. What small step can you take today to start acting as if you were already walking in your Diva shoes?
Here is Paul’s philosophy in a nutshell. But there is so much more in the pages of his book –
10 Principles of Begin with Yes
- Begin – The best time to start is now
- Have a sense of hopefulness and roll up your sleeves
- Expect that Begin with Yes will train your mind to think in an open, creative way and empower your problem-solving capacity.
- Remember, the secret to a good life is less about having a positive attitude and more about taking positive actions
- Ask questions. There are always answers to be found and the answers lead to actions that will move you forwards.
- Keep moving one step at a time. Don’t let fear stop you.
- Find your power by taking action
- Focus on finding people you can help, rather on people to help you.
- It’s not one great big “yes”. It’s a thousand little “yeses” that make life-changing things happen.
If this post has resonated with you and you would like to take this learning further, I really encourage you to read Paul Boynton’s Begin With Yes. Perhaps that is your first step.