Apparently I have had PCOS all my life and didn’t know. All my life I’ve been struggling with urinary tract infection and burning pain in my pelvic area. To relieve the pain, I’ve been taking antibiotics and medicine since the age of 12 (when I got my period for the first time).
Two years ago my husband and I wanted to start a family, so I stopped taking the pill (which I’ve been doing for almost 10 years). My period never came. I stated bleeding, but it was clear to me that it had nothing to do with a period. The doctors said I had cell development stage 3. They told me to prepare for cancer. Luckily all my treatments worked and I never had to face cancer, only the fear of cancer. But my period never came back and the pain and burning increased, and I was given even more medicine.
2 months after the last round of treatment, I gained 17 lbs, started getting hair on my chest, and acne on my back. I was devastated, it felt like aliens had taking over my body. (I’ve always been thin and healthy, doing lots of exercise and loving good foods).
The doctors told me if I wanted to be a mother, I just had to endure all the changes and the pain, there was no help to get.
And then I found you. And I was reminded that there was something so much more powerful and strong than all the doctors’ theories and medicine combined. Me.
All this time I thought my goal was to fight PCOS and succeed in getting pregnant. But on that path there was nothing but failure and despair.
I changed my goal. I wanted to love myself and my life, with all that it includes!!!!
I’ve started changing my diet and exercise program. I started talking about PCOS as a part of me – not as a parasite – and guess what? My hair on my chest is gone, my acne disappeared and I lost all of the extra weight.
I found out that PCOS is a leading factor of dehydration in the pelvic area because of hormone imbalances. So I never really needed all the medicine and antibiotics because I never had urine infections, all I needed was I good moisturizer for the sensitive parts. So that got my lovelife going (The worst part of not knowing how to live with PCOS, was not only that it made me a stranger to myself, it also made me an obstacle of having a happy marriage).
We are now on the waiting list for IVF and when the day comes I’m going to be the happiest woman alive. But I am glad that it was not the success of a pregnancy that “made my day”. Because I really needed to just be happy for all that is me, not because of my successes. And even though the waiting time feels like light years, I wake up every morning, recognizing that serene smile in the mirror and I love my life because I love myself and nothing in the world can compare what that brings of glee to your life.
I am now I Diva.
I wish for all women with PCOS to find peace in living in their own bodies. We only have this life and wasting it by wishing we could live someone else’s life is like breathing through a straw when you have the lung capacity of an opera singer!
And if it wasn’t for you I would have never remembered to look inside myself for the answers. Thank you of all my heart!
– Melanie B.
Thank you so much for sharing your story. While I struggle with pcos everyday, I find great strength in shared stories, makes me think im not alone
My favorite part was when you say: “All this time I thought my goal was to fight PCOS and succeed in getting pregnant. But on that path there was nothing but failure and despair. I changed my goal. I wanted to love myself and my life, with all that it includes!”
Thanks for sharing your inspiring story Melanie!