Hello Divas, my name is Sarah and I have been asked to share a little about myself and my PCOS journey. I am 26 years old and married for 2 years to a supportive husband. From my early life, I have always known what I wanted to be when I grew up, I wanted to be just like my mom and be a mother myself! I have always had problems with my monthly cycles and acne since I can remember. At the age of 12, I was told that birth control was the answer to feeling and looking better about myself! Once I was a teenager and into dating, I continued to remain on birth control. After all it was the responsible thing to do. My face was clear, I had no weight issues and I felt healthy and amazing about myself. I was completely oblivious to what was to come when I was ready to seriously think about getting married and having a family of my own.
My husband and I met in 2009 and right away I knew that he was going to be the man I would marry and spend the rest of my life with! After playing cat and mouse for almost 2 years, he had asked me to marry him. We got married on a hot summer day, surrounded by everyone we love and hold close to us. It was everything I have ever imagined- my dream wedding and I was getting married to a man who reminded me of my father. The goal of growing up and being just like my role model; my mom, was falling into place.
My husband and I waited about 6 months before we agreed that it was time to plan for a family. After 12 years of being on birth control, I had stopped January 2012 and allowed nature to take its course. We had got pregnant right away in February, again the emotions of having everything I ever dreamed of came rushing back! Everything was looking good, I had my 8 week appointment and was given my due date, the thoughts of names, nursery decor and of course shopping were all being put into place by my husband and I.
Two days after my eight week prenatal appointment, I started to spot. I called my doctor right away and an emergency ultrasound was scheduled for the next day. When I went to my first ultrasound, the spotting had got heavier. I had known deep inside of me what was coming next but a part of me did not want to believe! At that appointment I was told, there was no more baby. This was a hard one to take, as it would be for anyone. Not only was I told I miscarried at this appointment, but I was given the diagnosis of PCOS. The high number so cysts that was shown, had doctors believe that I may never get pregnant again. If I did I would more than likely not be able to carry out a healthy pregnancy, without it resulting in a miscarriage.
I left that appointment with the highest emotion of failure. I had slipped into a depression state and missed work for a month. I couldn’t stand the sight of women walking their babies and being so happy. Everyone around me either had children or was getting pregnant without any thought to it. I felt as if I was someone who wanted nothing more than to be a mother, that I was being punished for having my life planned out to the dot. And those people who gave no thought to what they wanted in life or lived life by the day, was given what I desperately wanted!
It took me a month to change my thought process, I had to think of life as what ever happens, happens and I’m going to do what ever it takes. I continued to research what exactly PCOS was and I would read success story after success story. My husband and I even started talking about adoption as a option. My face broke out, I gained 60 pounds and I was not getting a monthly cycle. I was told that I would not get a monthly cycle unless I went back on birth control. This was not a option.
I came across the PCOS Diva website and started to follow along with the diets. I had no monthly cycle for 10 months, yet I refused to give up! I was referred to a OBGYN by my family doctor in October 2012. I finally felt like someone was listening to me and was on board with helping me.
Step one, blood work was ordered. It was found that my thyroid was under active and my insulin was over active. Both these mixed together and caused a hormone imbalance. I was producing more testosterone than estrogen, which in turn was giving me more cysts on my ovaries. Step two- treat the hormones. I was put Sythroid and Metformin. Step three – lead a healthy lifestyle.
Between the PCOS Diva Meal Plans, my new daily medications and a little work out here and there, I started feeling good about myself again. The weight was coming off, my face was clearing up and my high energy personality was back! Most of all I had my first cycle after months went by, in November I had lost almost 40 pounds! The middle of January 2013 I had another cycle. Between November and January I must have done at least 30 home pregnancy tests, to no avail.
The end of January 2013 I was having sore breasts and brushed it off to go and have a girls night. After all the home pregnancy tests I did, I was not feeling like doing another just to be disappointed. Two days later my supporting husband, came home with yet another pregnancy test and said “just one last time, I have a good feeling.” With much hesitation, I played along just to please him.
Right away the word PREGNANT came up! It was far from the romantic moment that is played out in movies. It was 11:30pm, I had my pjs on my hair a mess, I walked out of the bathroom and into the bedroom where my husband was waiting. Handed him the test and crawled into bed to plan out how we were going to tell our families the next morning. It was more less the feeling of exhaustion and “finally!”
It didn’t take long for the news to spread like wild fire. Today I am 27 and a half weeks pregnant and due the beginning of October 2013 with a growing, healthy little boy! The feelings of excitement did not feel real until we found out the gender of this miracle child that we worked so hard for.
Today I am told that my cysts have either shrunk or that they have “disappeared” I am expecting to return to a healthy Diva once this pregnancy is over.
My message for other Divas is to never give up and fight a good fight! Your dreams are possible! I thank the PCOS diva website, success stories and meal plans as they played a big role in …”being just like my mom, when I grow up!”